


Paladins

by the_silver_paladin



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura (Voltron) is a bitch, F/M, Hunk (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith (Voltron) is Kinda Cool, Lance (Voltron) is JD, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Voltron Heathers AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 08:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18494740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_silver_paladin/pseuds/the_silver_paladin
Summary: Seventeen-year-old Trinity McHale is a nobody at Galaxy Garrison High School. When she is offered a chance to join the Paladins - Keith Kogane, Princess Allura of Altea, and Hunk Garrett - she leaps at the opportunity. But three weeks later, she begins to rethink that particular life choice. She sparks a relationship with trench coat-sporting, Baudelaire-quoting new kid Lance McClain, but let's just say Lance's views and hers don't mix. . . .





	Paladins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet young Trinity, her Science Siblings, the idiot jocks Griffin and Kinkade, and everyone's favorite Paladins - Edge Lord Keith, Her Royal Highness Allura, and Kitchen King Hunk. What chaos will ensue?

Trinity: September 1st, 2089. Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—here we are! First day of senior year! And uh... I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself—what happened?  
Garrison Kids: Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!  
Trinity: We were so tiny, happy and shiny  
Playing tag and getting chased  
Garrison Kids: Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!  
Trinity: Singing and clapping, laughing and napping  
Baking cookies, eating paste  
Garrison Kids: Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!  
Trinity: Then we got bigger, that was the trigger  
Like the Huns invading Rome  
Oh, sorry!  
Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school  
This is the Thunderdome  
Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon  
Garrison Kids: White trash!  
Trinity: My laboratory will be paradise IF I'M NOT DEAD BY JUNE!  
But I know, I know, life can be beautiful  
I pray, I pray for a better way  
If we changed back then, we could change again  
We can be beautiful...  
[A preppy stud knocks a hipster dork to the floor.]  
Hipster Dork: OW!  
Trinity: Just not today  
Hey, are you okay?  
Hipster Dork: Get away, nerd!  
Trinity: Oh, alright, I guess.  
Garrison Kids: Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!  
Trinity: Things will get better soon as my letter  
Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown  
Wake from this coma, take my diploma  
Then I can blow this town  
Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés  
[Trinity jostles James Griffin.]  
Griffin: Watch it!  
Trinity: Fight the urge to strike a match and SET THIS DUMP ABLAZE!  
[Griffin upends Trinity's lunch tray.]  
Griffin: Ooooops.  
Trinity: James Griffin. Third year as an MFE pilot and eighth year of SMACKING LUNCH TRAYS and being a huge dick!  
Griffin: What did you say to me, skank?  
Trinity: Yaahh, nothing!  
But I know, I know...  
Garrison Kids: I know, I know...  
Trinity: Life can be beautiful  
Garrison Kids: Beautiful  
Trinity: I pray, I pray  
Garrison Kids: I pray, I pray  
Trinity: For a better way  
Garrison Kids: For a better way  
Trinity: We were kind before;  
Garrison Kids: Oooh...  
Trinity: We can be kind once more  
Garrison Kids: Oooh...  
Trinity: We can be beautiful...  
Garrison Kids: Oooh. . . . Beautiful. . . .  
[Katie and Matt approach.]  
Trinity: YIII!... Hey, Katie. Hi, Matt.  
Katie and Matt: Hey.  
[Katie and Matt help Trinity pick up her tray.]  
Trinity: Katie and Matt Holt. My best friends since second grade.  
Matt: We on for posting tonight?  
Trinity: Hellz yeah, brother! You're on Reese’s Pieces detail.  
Katie: I rented the 2007 Rob Zombie Halloween remake!  
Trinity: Ho-ho-ho, again? Wait, don't you have that memorized by now?  
Matt: What can I say? Our Science Sister is a sucker for a Michael Myers movie!  
Kinkade: Pidge Holt! Watch out, y’all! Honnnnnk!  
[Ryan Kinkade knocks the tray from Katie’s hands.]  
Kinkade: Hahaaa!  
Trinity: Ryan Kinkade. Videographer and MFE pilot. He is the smartest guy on the fighter squad. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.  
Kinkade: Haha! Alriiight!  
Trinity: HEY, KINKADE! Pick that up! Right now!  
Kinkade: I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?  
Trinity: Yeah, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my Science Sister. You're a Garrison has-been waiting to happen. A future cargo pilot.  
Kinkade: ...You have a zit right there...  
[Kinkade and the Garrison kids laugh]  
Trinity: Dear diary: Why....  
Hipster Dork: Why do they hate me?  
Republicanette: Why don’t I fight back?  
Kinkade: Why do I act like such a creep?  
Trinity: Why. . . .  
Katie: Why won’t he date me?  
Griffin: Why did I hit him?  
Stoner Chick, Mr. Smythe, and Blow-Dried Prep: Why do I cry myself to sleep?  
Trinity: Why. . . .  
Garrison Kids: Somebody hug me!  
Somebody fix me!  
Somebody save me!  
Garrison Kids and Trinity: Send me a sign, God!  
Give me some hope, here!  
Something to live for!  
[The three Paladins enter.]  
Garrison Kids: Ahh! Hunk, Allura, and Keith!  
Trinity: And then there's the Paladins. They float above it all.  
Garrison Kids: I love Hunk, Allura, and Keith  
Trinity: Hunk Garrett, engineering master and king of the kitchen. His mom is loaded—she runs the biggest mechanic service in the country.  
Garrison Kids: I love Hunk, Allura, and Keith  
Trinity: Allura, Princess of Altea. No discernible personality, but her father, King Alfor, did pay for implants.  
Garrison Kids: I want Hunk, Allura, and Keith  
Trinity: And Keith Kogane, a leader of the Blade of Marmora. The Almighty. He is a mythic son of a bitch.  
Garrison Kids: I need Hunk, Allura —  
Trinity: They're solid Adamantium — never bothered, never harassed. I would kill to be like that.  
Garrison Kids: Mmmm...  
Hipster Dork: I'd like to be Allura's boyfriend!  
Garrison Kids: That would be beautiful. . .  
Mmmm. . . .  
Stoner Chick: If I sat at their table, guys would notice me!  
Garrison Kids: So beautiful. . . .  
Ooooh. . . .  
Katie and Matt: I'd like them to be nicer. . . .  
Garrison Kids: That would be beautiful. . . .  
Ooooh. . . .  
Beleaguered Geek: I'd like to kidnap Allura and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats.  
[Trinity enters the gender-neutral bathroom. Keith and Hunk are watching Allura vomit into a toilet while holding her hair back.]  
Keith: Allura, you're a peach and I adore you, but grow up a little, please? Bulimia is a new level of 2087.  
Hunk: Just trying to help out, but maybe you should see a doctor, Allura.  
Allura: Yeah, Hunk. Maybe I should.  
Mr. Smythe: Ah, Keith and Hunk. . . . [Allura vomits.]. . . .and Allura. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class.  
[Trinity scribbles on a piece of paper.]  
Keith: Allura wasn't feeling well! We're making ourselves helpful!  
Mr. Smythe: Not without a hall pass, you're not. Week's detention. . . .  
Trinity: Um, actually, Mr. Smythe, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee.  
Mr. Smythe: . . . .I see you're all listed. Kindly hustle up and get where you're going, please.  
Keith: This is a scarily good forgery! Who ARE you?!  
Trinity: Uh. . . . Trinity! McHale! I crave a boon.  
Keith: What kinda boon?  
Trinity: Um. . . . Let me sit at your table, at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone. . . . [Paladins mull it over] Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes.  
Allura: How about prescriptions?  
Keith: Allura, I adore you, but please stop talking.  
Allura: Sorry, Keith.  
[Keith inspects Trinity's face.]  
Keith: For a girl who spends her free time filming Kill Counts and inventing new tech, you have fantastic bone structure.  
Hunk: And a symmetrical face. If I took Keith's Bayard down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important  
Allura: Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds  
Keith: And ya know, ya know, ya know?  
This could be beautiful  
Mascara, maybe some lip gloss  
And we're on our way  
Get this girl some blush;  
And Allura, I need your brush  
Let's make her beautiful  
Hunk: Let's make her beautiful. . . .  
Allura: Let's make her beautiful. . . .  
Keith: Make her beautiful. . . .  
Okay?  
Trinity: Okay!  
[Another day, another hellish lunch.]  
Kinkade: Outta my way, geek!  
Beleaguered Geek: I don't want trouble—  
Griffin: You're gonna die at 3 pm!  
Republicanette and New Wave Girl: Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!  
Beleaguered Geek: What did I ever do to them?  
Garrison Kids: Who could survive this?  
I can't escape this!  
I think I'm dying!  
Mr. Smythe: Who's that with the Paladins?  
[The Paladins enter again...]  
Garrison Kids: Whoa!  
Hunk, Allura, Keith...  
New Wave Girl: And someone!  
Garrison Kids: Hunk, Allura, Keith...  
Younger Blades: And a babe!  
Garrison Kids: Hunk, Allura, Keith...  
Katie and Matt: TRINITY?!  
Garrison Kids: Trinity? Trinity? Trinity!  
[The Paladins part, revealing a smokin’ hot Trinity who has been given a makeover.]  
Trinity: And you know, you know, you know  
Garrison Kids: Ooohhhh!  
Trinity: Life can be beautiful  
Garrison Kids: Aaahhh! Beautiful!  
Trinity: You hope, you dream, you pray  
Garrison Kids: Ooohhhh!  
Trinity: And you get your way!  
Garrison Kids: Aaahhh!  
Trinity: Ask me how it feels  
Garrison Kids: Beautiful!  
Trinity: Lookin' like hell on wheels...  
Garrison Kids: Ooohhhh!  
Trinity: My Gods, it's beautiful!  
Garrison Kids: Aaahhh! Beautiful!  
Trinity: I might be beautiful...  
Garrison Kids: Beautiful!  
Trinity: And when you're beautiful...  
Garrison Kids: Aaahhh!  
Trinity: IT’S A BEAUTIFUL SHUCKIN’ DAY!  
Garrison Kids: Hunk! Allura! Keith! Trinity!  
Hunk! Allura! Keith! Trinity!  
Trinity! Trinity! Trinity!  
Trinityyyy!


End file.
